Reader, if you’ve followed me for a while, you’ve probably heard my story about my “What the F*** Am I DOING? moment – when the question flipped from “Why does he do that?” to “Why am I putting up with it?!”
I’ll never forget it. That moment changed the trajectory of my life, Thank God.
His betrayal had triggered something so deep in me I couldn’t even name it, but it held me hostage in that relationship for the next 5 years, constantly reaching outside myself to try to reconcile something that felt broken inside.
I felt so damaged. I’d done everything I knew how to do – all the therapy, all the books, all the prayers – and for everything I tried to do to let it go, I lost a little bit more of myself.
And then it happened – I woke up.
I’d been so focused on why he didn’t choose me, I hadn’t realized I wasn’t choosing myself!
Why would I let a man or ANYONE cause me harm? Would I let someone treat my daughters or granddaughters that way? OH HELL NO. So why was I allowing him to treat ME that way?
And that was it – a moment of clarity that began the deepest, most Divine, life-changing excavation of my life. The work I did for me from that point forward brought me all the way home to myself. Not the person I was before the betrayal…