Ok, I promised to follow up about boundaries. Yes, they were part of the situation with the rude woman, but they’re not what you might think.
We tend to think in order to have healthy boundaries we need to draw hard lines in the sand – make it clear what we will and will NOT tolerate. Give someone who crosses them a big ole’ WHAT FOR, but those aren’t really boundaries. Those are just words.
In fact, if you have clear, solid boundaries, you don’t HAVE to do that, because here’s what they do for you: They allow you to stop needing other people to change in order for YOU to feel better.
I want to be clear – I’m not talking about physical boundaries. I’m talking about emotional, verbal, and energetic boundaries. Physical boundaries are a whole other level.
Emotional, verbal and energetic boundaries are for YOU, not for anyone else. They are YOUR Hula-Hoop in the world – where you stop and other people begin. Your God-given, birth-given space on the planet where you can do whatever the f*** you want – feel what you want, move how you want, speak what you want, BE who you want. It’s YOUR choice.
And everybody else has a Hula-Hoop too. So if there’s a person standing in front of me, saying something rude or staring at me blankly when I talk to her (see previous story) that’s HER choice, because she’s in HER Hula-Hoop. I can choose whether I stand there or walk away, speak up or shut up, but I can’t control what she does in her Hula-hoop. Make sense?
That’s sometimes a really hard thing to accept. We’ve been taught to say “You can’t talk to me that way.” or “You don’t get to gaslight me”, but in reality, they get to do whatever they want and WE have to take care of ourselves accordingly. And that means doing what’s TRUE for us.
In the situation that started this conversation, I chose to take myself home, do the Sacred Shift™ work with my child self, and show back up as the grown-ass adult I am. In MY Hula-hoop, I chose integrity, kindness, compassion rather than bitterness or revenge, because that feels a whole lot better to my Soul.
Bottom line, our Hula-Hoop is sacred ground. It’s there to protect and honor WHO WE ARE and we’re the ones responsible for keeping it intact. It’s one of the most empowering, freeing shifts we can make!
When you’re ready, schedule your Sacred Shift™ and experience it for yourself.
