When we enter into partnership, we come with a suitcase packed with life experiences…past relationships, resentments, wounds, needs, dramas, fears, desires, dreams, and beliefs about ourselves, and about love. When we decide to set up house, literally and figuratively, we begin to unpack our suitcases, revealing aspects of ourselves we may have had neatly tucked away.
This is a natural and necessary process in every relationship. However, we often find the contents of our partner’s suitcase unbecoming or distasteful and prefer they just get rid of it! And here it begins…the process of attempting to change our mate so we’ll be happy.
Dig in your own suitcase! Rather than rummaging through your partner’s suitcase, look intently and honestly in your own and do what needs to be done to put those things away. In other words, be willing to do heal your own wounds.
Honor and validate your partner. There are very distinct differences between masculine and feminine energy, even in same-sex relationships, and a necessary balance of Yin and Yang is required. Learning to recognize and understand these unique qualities, rather than judge and criticize, is honoring and validating to our partner.
Lesson # 3:
Do not attack! Resist attacking others and yourself in thought, word, and action. If you only practice this one principle, your life and your love will change dramatically.
Remember that you are on the same team. If a teammate makes a mistake and lets the team down, we generally forgive, encourage and even pick up the slack if needed. However, couples tend to take each other’s mistakes and mishaps personally, forgetting they are teammates in life, working toward the same goals.
Lesson #5: Remember the Higher Purpose of your Partnership. We all need to feel a sense of purpose in our lives, yet we often fail to see the greater purpose in our intimate relationships. It is important to identify our own purpose as individuals, first and foremost. Once we are aware of our Self, we are more willing to honor our partner’s individuality and purpose, and together, we are able to seek and understand the Higher Purpose of our relationship. When in alignment and committed to something greater than ourselves, our relationship has more meaning, life has more value, and love has no limit!
“Stop letting your past determine your future! Start here, start now, and choose life on your terms. If you want love, be love. If you want peace, be peace. If you want truth, be truth.” — Kate Bares-Cochrun