Just Who Do I Think I AM?

When I was 8 years old, I entered a citywide art contest. I had 2 weeks to create an Easter drawing and all the contestants and winners would be displayed at the local shopping center, up and down the sidewalk in front of all the stores. I remember walking the entire length of that mall, back and forth – twice – looking for my drawing. It wasn’t there.

My mom and I went to the judges’ table and asked where it was. The woman looked at her clipboard and said, “Oh, it was disqualified for not following the guidelines. The rule was it had to be done without any help from their parents.”

I don’t remember what I said, but I remember the panic that unfurled in my head. “WHAT? What is she talking about Momma? You DIDN’T help me. Nobody helped me! TELL HER! Why is she saying I cheated? That’s not fair. Tell her I didn’t cheat!!”

My mother turned me away from the table, saying something to the effect of, “They already gave out the prizes – let’s just go.” and we walked out through the crowd. I felt like everybody was looking at me, thinking I was a liar and a cheat. I remember feeling like I did something wrong, like I was bad for even being the kind of person they would THINK would cheat. It was traumatic, and that’s what we do with trauma – we internalize it and it becomes our own shame. What happened next would cork that shame for years to come.

On our way home Momma said, “Well, at least you know it was THAT good – they think I helped you with it!”

My brain said, “Ah, yes – that’s true! It WAS that good. Ok, that feels better.” and that became what I took away from it. Consciously.

But – I never drew anything again.

Because the deeper take-away wasn’t about the picture – it was about ME. That little 8-year-old girl believed them…I wasn’t smart enough to create something that good, so I MUST be a fraud.

I stopped trusting myself – my instincts, my creativity, my gifts. I was aftaid to put myself out there in ANY way. No one would take me seriously. I was too small to be that good. They wouldn’t believe me – they’d think I was a fraud. NONE OF IT WAS EVER TRUE!!

All of this was running in the background, all that time. One event. Someone else’s careless, baseless judgement. A mother who didn’t want to make a scene. It all could have gone very differently, but today I believe it needed to go exactly the way it did because it’s one of THE reasons I do this work.

Because I know how deep those false beliefs run. And because my own journey of uncorking that unearned shame allowed me to tap back into who I AM – so I took that work and developed a method that gets straight to the root of what’s blocking you from YOU, without years of therapy.

That’s exactly what the Return to Self™ is. 8 weeks, you and me, getting all the way back to her.

Step by step, we don’t just see where the belief is trapped (which is helpful, but doesn’t heal it) we literally undo it. You’ll get back to who you were before that belief took root. The REAL you. Yep, she’s still in there! Then we work to clear all the patterns you picked up along the way, so it stops running your life on auto-pilot.

All of this in 8 weeks. Can you imagine your life just 60 days from now, without that baggage? What would that be like?

$2397. You and me. Let’s go find her.

Click here → Return To Self™ ​

With love, Kate 💗

P.S. And yes – I did create something THAT good. 😎

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Kate A. Bares | Soul Integration Method™

Inside is the way out. ~ Kate

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