community dedicated to the enhancement and healing of body, mind and soul.
"Persistent indulgence ceases to be indulgence at all and merely
becomes habit. Sort of defeats the whole purpose, doesn't it?"
to Kates Corner. Pull up a cushion and sit awhile. If theres anything
you would like to contribute
or would like for us to post here, please don't
hesitate to drop us a note and let us know. Enjoy your visit!
What is Soul Realignment®?
Through my life's work as an intuitive healer and guide, I have created and offered Soul
Integration Therapy™ as a means of transformation and soul awakening for over 20 years.
The intent of Soul Integration Therapy™ is to help each of us live more fully as the Divine
beings we are; our human-Self and Soul-Self integrated as one being. By incorporating
various healing modalities, I am able to guide and support clients in identifying and healing
negative beliefs, false paradigms, and unhealthy patterns that may be preventing them from
living as the Divine Souls they truly are.
Akashic Record readings are one of the most profound (and one of my favorite) ways we can
access the Truth of the Soul. They are the energetic "database" that stores all information
about the Soul, back to the moment of its origination from Divine Source. Through accessing
the Records, we are able to receive all the information we could ever wish for about the
Divine nature of the Soul, our Soul Purpose, our Divine Gifts, and our path of spiritual
This past year, I deepened my Akashic Record readings through the Soul Realignment® Advanced Practitioner Training offered by Andrrea Hess, which I found to be in perfect
alignment with my Soul Integration™ practice!
What's different about Soul Realignment® is that it goes beyond just reading the Akashic
Records and offers comprehensive insight into the root causes behind the persistent negative
patterns of thought, emotion, and behavior that plague so many people. By examining
negative blocks and restrictions that may be affecting us at Soul-level, we can gain real and
meaningful explanations for many of our present-life experiences.
Simply put, Soul Realignment® is about truly LIVING our Soul's identity in very real, practical
ways so that we may integrate who we are as Divine Beings into our human experience! It
is about experiencing our true Self at the level of our every day life as the spiritual Beings we
are, harnessing the power of our intuitive manifesting abilities as we create the life we want,
based on our Divine Gifts and who we are at Soul-level. (aka: Soul Integration™!)
As a Soul Realignment® Advanced Practitioner, my clients are now able to experience this
very real and powerful approach to life as a CHOICE on even deeper levels, accessing their
Divine Gifts and Truth through information revealed and cleared in their Akashic Records.
I'm excited to have this new level of healing and integration to offer to my clients and it is my
JOY to now offer it to you !
Living in a Time of Change
We are exeriencing a phenomenal era in history and on
our planet, as it is truly a time of change and growth
or us all. While some consider this "hard"
times in our physical
world, what is truly occurring is the shift of consciousness
that is required for us to evolve and transform as human
beings, together and individually. We
are blessed with immeasurable energy and support for
this to occur, both seen and unseen, and each of us
has the opportunity to take full advantage of the possibilities
The healing of the whole begins with our own willingness
to heal ourselves...to explore and accept the beautiful
Truth of who we are, and have always been. The weekend
intensives and other work offered here through the Center,
give us the opportunity to start right here, right now,
to do that which needs to be done...to release the old,
out-dated ideas and Self-limiting beliefs that keep
us stuck in patterns of disbelief, discouragement, fear
and bitterness, and embrace a new way of being; a TRUE
way of being!
This is an invitation and a call to action! Whether
you accept this invitation as a means to your own personal
transformation or you choose another path, please remember
that we ARE the society in which we live...when one
hurts, we all hurt...and sometimes we hurt each other.
When we heal our own wounds, we heal each other, and
peace is restored in the world.
Thank you for choosing to act, and to BE the change
you long to see in our world! ~ Kate
have found that if I love until it hurts, there is
no more hurt
only more love. — Mother Theresa
Take it to the A.L.T.A.R.
There is always an observer within you...the YOU that stands lovingly, knowingly still as the ego plays out its dramas, manipulations, addictions, obsessions...watching and waiting for you to come home. You know the YOU I'm speaking of, I know you do! This YOU never leaves you, will never leave you, because this IS you...your Truest, most authentic, Divine Self, waiting with open arms!
I believe there is an aspect of Self that is all-knowing and all-loving, that remembers who we are and why we're here. An aspect within each of us that is actually of higher consciousness, but not the part of our consciousness we live from primarily, or at least not the aspect of Self we've learned to trust and allow to guide us. As humans, we live from mere survival instincts...physically, emotionally, and even spiritually...rather than from the guidance of our higher Self. For instance, you know that sense you have when something is, or isn't, right? Or when you feel drawn to something or someone and you don't know why? You may feel a strong nudge to go a certain direction and then immediately cancel it out with the part of your brain that has the "plan" already figured out. Those urgings and sensations we get are our higher consciousness attempting to wake us up or direct us back into alignment with our True path. Oh, we all have free will, which is why we often take the long route! We like to be "free" to choose, not realizing that we're equally free to choose to listen to that internal guidance, even without a clue where we're going! Ahh, now THAT is true freedom!
Listening and trusting from within, learning to recognize the sound of our higher voice, the sensations we feel, and the pictures it presents, will take us to our highest calling, if we let it. It will direct us to those places and people and experiences we long for, if we're willing to risk the safety of our ego constraints and unfold in our authenticity. Most of us aren't accustomed to letting go on this level, but with practice and a strong desire to live from the inside OUT, we can get there. We can ALL get there! Can you imagine if the whole world were living authentically? True peace would be restored, wounds would be healed, and the planet would thrive!
A great way to begin to quiet your ego voice and listen to your higher Self, is what I like to call, "Take it to the A.L.T.A.R", which stands for Ask, Listen, Trust, Act, Repeat. Try it! Next time you have a decision to make, close your eyes and ASK for the correct choice. LISTEN for the first answer that comes in. TRUST it. ACT on it, and then REPEAT as needed. Watch what happens!
The observer within you IS you...watching, loving, and waiting for you to step into your fullest, most ALIVE life. This aspect of Self will continue to offer you the means to grow, to deepen, to become who you truly are, but it will be up to your human to risk it and choose to use ALL of your experiences as they are intended...for your highest, most Divine intention. You may not know what that is yet, but you're closer than you think!
When you're ready to go home...open arms await!
Truth of a thing does not necessarily change the reality of it!" — Kate Bares-Cochrun
Copyright © 2012
in Your Suitcase?
When we enter into partnership, we come
with a suitcase packed with life experiences
past relationships, resentments,
wounds, needs, dramas, fears, desires, dreams, and beliefs about ourselves, and
about love. When we decide to set up house, literally and figuratively, we begin
to unpack our suitcases, revealing aspects of ourselves we may have had neatly
This is a natural and necessary process in every relationship. However, we often
find the contents of our partner's suitcase unbecoming or distasteful and prefer
they just get rid of it! And here it begins
the process of attempting to
change our mate so we'll be happy.
Lesson #1: Dig in your own suitcase! Rather than rummaging through your partner's
suitcase, look intently and honestly in your own and do what needs to be done
to put those things away. In other words, be willing to do heal your own wounds.
Lesson #2: Honor and validate your partner. There are
very distinct differences between masculine and feminine energy, even in same-sex
relationships, and a necessary balance of Yin and Yang is required. Learning to
recognize and understand these unique qualities, rather than judge and criticize,
is honoring and validating to our partner.
3: Do not attack! Resist attacking others and yourself in thought, word, and
action. If you only practice this one principle, your life and your love will
Lesson #4: Remember that you
are on the same team. If a teammate makes a mistake and lets the team down, we
generally forgive, encourage and even pick up the slack if needed. However, couples
tend to take each other's mistakes and mishaps personally, forgetting they are
teammates in life, working toward the same goals.
Lesson #5: Remember the Higher Purpose of your Partnership. We all need to feel a sense of purpose in our lives, yet we often fail to see
the greater purpose in our intimate relationships. It is important to identify
our own purpose as individuals, first and foremost. Once we are aware of our Self,
we are more willing to honor our partner's individuality and purpose, and together,
we are able to seek and understand the Higher Purpose of our relationship. When
in alignment and committed to something greater than ourselves, our relationship
has more meaning, life has more value, and love has no limit!
letting your past determine your future! Start here, start now, and choose life
on your terms. If you want love, be love. If you want peace, be peace. If you
want truth, be truth." — Kate Bares-Cochrun
Honoring Your Divine Self
What does it mean to "honor one's Self"? Some
may think of it as selfish or self-centered. Others may mistake it for indulgence,
or doing "whatever we want, whenever we want," because it feels good.
However, neither of these perspectives is true in the context of this writing.
What I hope to impart today is the understanding that to honor one's Self is to
honor the Truth of who we are and to embrace a level of Self-worth and Self-acceptance
from deep within.
Above all else, it is our Self-worth that is our most precious, natural resource.
I say "natural" because it is perfectly natural for us to feel worthy.
We come that way! But through our life experiences, we often begin to question
and doubt our worthiness, our Self-acceptance begins to wane, and our original,
precious Self becomes the very aspect of our being that we abuse, neglect, and
destroy the most. In reality, there is nothing more debilitating than the pain
we inflict upon ourselves by denying who we truly are. Yet, we do it all the time:
unconsciously moving away from our truest nature, abandoning the Self, then wanting
and waiting for another to come along and retrieve us.
Many people spend entire lifetimes searching for ways, and other people, to fill
the void left by leaving themselves and become increasingly lonely and bitter
when nothing and no one can ease the emptiness. This is not because there's no
one to love them, but rather, because no one CAN love us the way they are intended
to love ourselves. When we stop honoring, respecting and validating ourselves,
we have simply forgotten who we truly are, and our task at hand is to remember.
Until we do, there is no one else who can do it for us.
If, in this moment, you recognize yourself in these words, know this: on the very
deepest level of your consciousness, you already know that you are worthy; that
you are loved. The longing that you feel is simply the Truth awakening within
Most live much
of their lives with these subtle negative emotions and never associate them with
a lack of Self-acceptance or Self-worth; however, there are always tell-tale signs
of the culprit if we are paying attention. We may feel a nagging sense that something's
missing. We may be self-conscious or paranoid that we are being judged, or we
may be quick to judge others. We beat ourselves up with shame and guilt before
anyone else even has the opportunity, and believe we are responsible for others'
pain. We often have a string of failed relationships or unhealthy friendships,
or even jobs. We will sometimes be over-confident to the point of arrogance, superior
in our communication with others or overly competitive and not understand why
people don't want to play on our teams. In our intimate relationships we may be
unable to express ourselves freely or ask for what we want, both emotionally and
sexually, or we may be extreme in either case, over-compensating for our fear.
All of these, and more, are examples of a lack of Self-worth and Self-acceptance
and, as you can see, are detrimental to our ability to create healthy, thriving
relationships in the world, beginning with our relationship with the Self.
This is not to say we
can't recover and heal from these negative beliefs about ourselves, however, we
must begin with the willingness to face the truth about ourselves
glorious Truth that we are, and always have been, worth loving.
During a time in my life when doing so seemed the least likely or appropriate
thing to do, I read the following excerpt from a book entitled, Honoring the
Self, by Nathaniel Branden. These words literally changed my life! The doors
of Self-acceptance swung wide, and I was encouraged again to seek from within
that which I'd sought from others for so long. The essence of this simple truth
has remained at the core of my life and my work with others, and through this
I've discovered that to honor my Self is to honor the Divine. For this I am so
grateful! I share it with you now, with love and hope that you too will begin
the journey to awakening, celebrating, and honoring your beautiful, Divine Self!
"Of all the judgments that we pass in life,
none is as important as the one we pass on ourselves, for that judgment touches
the very center of our existence.
significant aspect of our thinking, motivation, feelings, or behavior is unaffected
by our self-evaluation
The first act of honoring the self is the assertion
of consciousness: the choice to think, to be aware, to send the searchlight of
consciousness outward toward the world and inward toward our own being. To default
on this effort is to default on the self at the most basic level.
To honor the self is to be willing to think independently, to live by our own
mind, and to have the courage of our own perceptions and judgments.
To honor the self is to be willing to know not only what we think but also what
we feel, what we want, need, desire, suffer over, are frightened or angered by
- and to accept our right to experience such feelings. The opposite of this attitude
is denial, disowning, repression - self-repudiation.
To honor the self is to preserve an attitude of self-acceptance - which means
to accept what we are, without self-oppression or self-castigation, without any
pretense about the truth of our own being, pretense aimed at deceiving either
ourselves or anyone else.
To honor the self is to live authentically, to speak and act from our innermost
convictions and feelings.
To honor the self is to refuse to accept unearned
guilt, and to do our best to correct such guilt as we may have earned.
To honor the self is to be committed to our right to exist which proceeds from
the knowledge that our life does not belong to others and that we are not here
on earth to live up to someone else's expectations. To many people, this is a
To honor the self is to be in love with our own
life, in love with our possibilities for growth and for experiencing joy, in love
with the process of discovery and exploring our distinctively human potentialities.
Thus we can begin to see that to honor the self is to practice selfishness in
the highest, noblest, and least understood sense of that word. And this, I shall
argue, requires enormous independence, courage, and integrity."
is no gift more profound than the honor of one's Self." — Kate
Copyright © 2009
What Is Your Communication Saying About You?
There is nothing in our world, or our relationships, that is not affected by our communication. What we think, feel, need, want, believe, and expect are being communicated constantly, both verbally and non-verbally, consciously and unconsciously. We are communicating continuously with our thoughts and actions, fears and reactions…and getting results accordingly. Even those with healthy communication skills are often baffled by their results with others, when they themselves seem to be communicating "effectively".
This is because WHAT we communicate is far more impactful than HOW we communicate…and it's happening behind the scenes, in every moment. We are, in essence, either responding or reacting to everything in our environment, all the time. We respond or react to people, experiences, circumstances, stress, joy, pleasure, pain, disappointment, satisfaction, loss, gain, and the list goes on and on. We are sometimes tired, sometimes energized. Sometimes hopeful, sometimes discouraged…troubled, peaceful, excited, or frightened. You get the picture. This is real life, and we're not going to get around our humanness, however, understanding what's happening on deeper levels will go a long way in improving communication on the conscious level.
Obviously, it takes more than just better communication skills to communicate better, which is where "WHAT we communicate" comes in. When conflicted internally or externally, what remains unhealed within us is what we communicate most loudly, regardless of the words we speak. It is crucial to our well being and our relationships to look honestly at our reactions and begin to connect the dots to our past experiences, so that we can diffuse the energy, allow old wounds to heal and current relationships to thrive.
Most of us are not aware of our triggers, so an easy exercise to begin the process is to track your communication with others for one or two full days…all your interactions with friends, strangers, children, parents, coworkers, partners, and even pets. Observe your reactions to others' communications and choices, gestures, and even your annoyances and tolerations. Just observe, and when you find yourself reacting, even when it feels justified, check in with what emotion or pain is beneath your reaction. It might show up as disrespect, violation, fear, abandonment, not feeling appreciated or loved, or feeling out of control or unheard. Again, just observe without judgment. Keep a notebook handy so you can later see if there is a common thread of early experience(s) in your life. You may need support or guidance to help with the healing and release of energy around it, but it is well worth the excavation! Once the healing has commenced, you will likely begin to notice a difference in your interactions with others…and so will they…as you become more peaceful, grounded, and present in the here and now.
I'm always interested to hear how the practices work for you, so please feel free to email me with questions or comments, or for support and guidance through the process. Many blessings!
It's Not What it Used to Be
"All the world is make believe. To make, you must believe"
— Jenee Arthur
Copyright © 2010
You MIGHT be Codependent
Codependency: It's Not What it Used to Be!
You MIGHT be Codependent if…
…you've ever heard yourself think or say, "If you love me, you will....."
…you’ve ever thought that if someone else would just CHANGE, you'd be happy.
…you've rescued another person, emotionally or physically, only to later resent and judge them for needing to be rescued in the first place!
…you've been possessive, obsessive, and felt like you were LOSING YOUR MIND
over someone or something you didn't like that much to begin with.
…your entire life feels out of control when you can't have what (or WHO) you want
…you sacrifice your own needs and wants for the needs and wants of others.
….you have to get angry to be heard
…you've stopped trying to be heard
…you're angry, scared, or lonely and can't tell which is which anymore.
…you say yes when you mean no; NO when you mean yes; have no idea WHAT you
mean, and wonder why people don't "get" you ...
OR ... you sing the lyrics to the old love song "Love Hurts" in the shower!
If you answered a resounding "YES!" to any of these statements, you just might be codependent.
We chuckle at the obvious, but Codependency is NO JOKE! It is host to some of the most common, destructive, unhealthy, and unconscious habits and behaviors we do as human beings.
In reality, Codependency is simply the faulty paradigm that the source of our love and worthiness exists externally. When we believe our source of love resides in others, we become dependent on them for love, acceptance, approval, acknowledgement, affection, attention, validation, etc, and in our dependency, we seek out others to help us feel "whole”, creating “co” dependency. This happens in relationships of all kinds, be it intimate, parent/child, friendship, coworkers, or the world at large and is completely unconscious for most of us. But, it's time to wake up!
To be Interdependent is to live and practice the conscious awareness that our sense of Love and Self worth is derived from within. To be inter-dependent is to be "internally dependent" on our own capacity for love, validation, and acceptance, rather than externally dependent on others to fulfill us. Just as we learn to walk, talk, and feed our bodies as we grow, we must also learn to honor, validate, and nurture our Souls or we will remain dependent on others, losing pieces of our True Self along the way. This is that subtle “something's missing" feeling we often get, because we’ve lost touch with our True source. The task now is to find and embrace those aspects of Self and remember who we are…from the inside out. When we are complete within ourselves, we are at peace.
If you've not yet explored this aspect of your personal/spiritual growth, or at least not explored it from this perspective, I highly recommend it as an empowering, enlightening, and often very entertaining process!
"Doubling your standards does not make them
higher" — Kate Bares-Cochrun